Don't make out with my wife yet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
