Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
