Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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