i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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