i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
