Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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