You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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