Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is it because I queefed?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
