No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
