i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
