The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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