I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
