I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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