My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
