Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
