Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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