Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
