Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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