literally had 100 drinks last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
