You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
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I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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