It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
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My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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