ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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