shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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