Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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