I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
