You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
