a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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