I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
