were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
