Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
