I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
