That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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