You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
