oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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