Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
is this the sara with the beer cane?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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