I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
