I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
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is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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