I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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