he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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