Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
