toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
