ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
These tits shall not be calmed
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