Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
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i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
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There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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