I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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