she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
