I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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