the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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