is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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