It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The power of my boobs compel you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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