I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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