Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
