I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
