It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
