im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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