shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
