The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
