Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
