I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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