Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
