haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
