I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
