My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
